Why Staying Together for Your Children May be Problematic

Divorce Attorney in Albuquerque

Divorce Attorney in AlbuquerqueMany parents love their children more than anything, even if over time, they realize that they no longer love each other. In an act of love for their shared children, they may choose to stay together, in the bid of not uprooting their loved one’s lives. After all, a divorce is not just a divorce between two people — everyone is affected, most of all their children.

In Albuquerque, divorce attorneys know that the courts will always put the needs of the children first. This is why custody is such a big focus of many contested court proceedings.

Some parents worry about the impact such a hearing will have on their family and choose to stay together for their children. While this is a well-meaning sentiment, it is problematic, because it will still lead to unrest and unhappiness.

Set a Good Example

Even if you choose to stay together for your children, the truth will always come out. If you have a rocky relationship, no amount of pretending will make you save face.

Your children will be exposed to an ambivalent, emotionally disconnected relationship. This eventually does take its toll on your children, because they won’t learn how to maintain a healthy, happy relationship as adults.

According to an article in the Huffington Post, children who are constantly exposed to negative relationships are more likely to have poor self-esteem. Even subtle hostility can have a profound effect on your child’s psyche.

Sometimes, Divorce is the Only Way

Then there is the problem of high conflict marriages — when one party is abusive, it affects the entire family unit. Not everyone realizes right away that they are in a bad marriage. It happens slowly, which leads to increasing levels of anxiety, anger, and guilt.

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Children, especially teenagers, are more perceptive than most parents give them credit for. They will see these patterns of abuse, which will have a damaging effect on how they perceive themselves and others.

You may want to stay together for your children, but sometimes divorce is the only way. If you feel that your marriage can no longer be fixed, you will have to make a choice. Choose your children, but remember that staying together is not always the right decision for them.