When you hear “divorce,” drama, court cases, cursing, and crying kids come to mind. They do happen, as it’s not always easy for estranged couples to see eye to eye. But, while television shows, documentaries, and news items often portray it as a messy process, there are times when it ends on amicable terms. How does this happen?
Contrary to popular belief, divorce attorneys have a hand, even in the friendliest setups. It’s still a legal process. But, for mutually agreeing exes, it’s a much less dramatic one. Apart from sparing the family from courtroom commotions, how does going the friendly route work for those who are parting ways?
Less Cost, More Communication
If you and your ex are still on speaking terms, you can talk things over without a fuss or a fight. Sure, the separation is still a touchy subject, but you are open to meeting each other halfway. You can talk about your kids’ schedules, who goes to PTAs, or who gets what from your joint properties, fair and square. In amicable divorces, communication lines are open, because both parties put respect above all.
Also, while communication doesn’t mean you don’t need an attorney to mediate, you’ll spare yourself from costly legal battles. Ever heard of divorce mediation? It’s a way to settle disputes outside of the court. The law has minimal involvement in the process, only employing an impartial third party to guide the spouses with the process.
Unless both of you are lawyers, you’ll need one to help you with the documents, payments, and legal agreements. Mediators won’t give you a verdict; they’ll just walk you through your rights, and bridge your individual terms, so you can reach a fair resolution. As such, there’s no need for representation fees, as you’ll only need to settle things with a little outside help.
No Confusion and Little Friction
If you aren’t friendly just for show, then the process will be a smooth one. It’s easy to be assertive about what you want and listen to what your ex wants. Both of you can avoid dragging your kids into a big mess. By doing this, you’ll be able to show the little ones that you’re still their parents, no matter what.
But, the change is also clear, since there’s a formal-looking visitor who always talks to you or asks for them. Your kids won’t be alienated from what’s happening, but they’ll be protected from the tension between bickering parents.
Going the friendly route when parting only works if both spouses have sincere respect for one another. No matter what legal measures you take or how many attorneys you employ, a divorce is a difficult split. It’s up to you to make it friendly, or pleasant, at least.